Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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