batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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