hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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