I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize