go do what you do best...puke behind churches
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
