i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
