walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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