Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize