you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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