Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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