you told grandpa to call you daddy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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