So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
His nipple licking is glorious
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