Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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