does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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