"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
