whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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