The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
