Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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