Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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