How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My ATM looks so different sober.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
