Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
