So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
