Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We left the knife in your bed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
