his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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