i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
P.S. I can't hear my feet
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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