Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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