we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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