Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
