So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
