tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
