TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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