I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
