I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
