chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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