wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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