we have officially lost it.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
