I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
