You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
