guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
