goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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