We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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