you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i think i just naturally attract stoners
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize