i need an iv and a liver transplant
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
