Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Four minutes until I can fart!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
