we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Terrible idea I love it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize