What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
