Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
