At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
