the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
