We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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