Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am naked and annoyed.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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