I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
