I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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