New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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