so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
