I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
