About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
