he wants to bone in the snuggie
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
