ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
